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Teacher’s Log, 9/28/11

Teacher’s log, day 28, month 9, year 2011.

Started with madness, as all Wednesdays do. Manager had to chat with the five year old boys and promise stickers for good behavior. 15 minutes later they’re alternating between giving each other horseback rides and screaming “I love you! I want to kiss you!” while running circles around me. The sounds still echo in my brain, along with the sting of my continuous face-palming.

Girls’ class came next, joined by two new test-accomplices who looked at me like I was a brown unicorn; somehow magical and different, but probably best left untouched. New boy hacked, coughed, and picked his nose incessantly. High fives stopped immediately. Got punched a few times. Littlest one is still the smartest. Maybe we learned something today.

Older, private student talked at length about her vegetable garden and seasonal foods. Together we discovered “typhoon” comes from the Chinese “Tai Fung,” and we suck at Chinese.

Not a Lotus Root
Also, I discover I can't draw Lotus Roots.

“Interviewed” a 7 year old girl. Kid hid behind her Mom the first 10 minutes. Refused to look at me. Can’t wait to teach her in class tomorrow.

Elementary twerps next. Newest one still in haze. Whiniest one won’t admit his English has actually improved. Strongest one struggles to stay awake. Controlling class schedules to coincide with ability levels would be nice.

Pubescent boys class horrible, as expected. 50 minutes of deafening silence and four teens “sneaking” looks at my chest. Worst kid had his last lesson today. Nobody surprised. Maybe if I threw a pile of boobs at them they’d be interested.

Last two kids exhausted and funny. Studying for tests they’ll do well on next week. Two weeks from now they’ll complain about their A- scores.

No casualties today, though another teaching object was lost into the void (a gap between a wall and a desk bolted to it). Tomorrow, we go again!


  1. anana3322 anana3322 September 29, 2011

    Wow. I know why I don’t want to be a teacher. But I really like reading about your struggles 😉

  2. Lord Balto (Steve F) Lord Balto (Steve F) September 29, 2011

    You know, they make these long springy grabby things with a press-in activator on the end for just such “can’t reach” problems. invented originally for dropped bolts while working on car engines. Let’s see, Google Images calls it a “parts grabber.” Most likely they have them at the Japanese version of Home Depot.

  3. saboten saboten October 2, 2011

    Hi,I’m an English learning Japanese and wish to be a English teacher for kids as you. Today I had my first kids English class in volunteer. It was so awful and made me so exhausted.
    So I had just laughed at your stories as a teacher. I exactly agree with you. Teaching is really hard job. Some kids are twerps.
    But I’m sure you did good job for them.
    Cheers from saboten
    (Now I’m a professional writer on art and culture topics.Check our blog)
    -the art blog voidchicken days-

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